Things that would never happen . . .
by OnakagaSuita
Summary: Well i uhh think that the title says it all ..... oh and there will be more eventually
1. Chapter 1

Ranma ½ and all the characters from the show belong to the goddess Rumiko Takahashi. So please dear lord do not sue me I couldn't pay more than five cents any who.  
  
Things that would never happen on Ranma ½1/2 . . .  
  
  
  
  
  
#1  
  
Shampoo was sitting in her chair by the side of the set, listening to the new director yell. This was the third one they had gotten in less than a week. Shampoo watched amused as the short women of 5' 7" stood yelling up at the large panda bear in front of her. When she felt a hand rest on her shoulder she looked up. Ranma stood next to her and it was his hand that was resting on her shoulder. "Hey Shampoo watcha think the meaning of life is?"  
  
"I don't know Ranma I think only Kami-sama does."  
  
Ranma suddenly developed heart eyes as he looked down at Shampoo. "Oh Shampoo u spoke to me again. Does this mean your gonna remove that restraining order?" Ranma then glomped onto Shampoo tackling her to the ground. Shampoo screamed and started to weakly bat at Ranma.  
  
* * * *  
  
Mousse, who was walking onto the set looked up as he heard a familiar scream, then shrugged and kept walking. Mousse kept walking until he bumped into someone. Looking down he saw Akane in front of him. "Oh I am sorry Akane I didn't see you there. "  
  
Akane looked up at Mousse and giggled. "Oh Mousse-sempai you silly you. Tee- hee-hee. You know you got contacts last week."  
  
Mousse grinned. "So I did Akane. Listen umm Akane I was wondering if maybe you would like to go out with me."  
  
"Oh Mousse-sempai I thought you'd never ask." Akane reached out and pulled Mousse into a tight hug.  
  
* * * *  
  
Ryoga looked up at the sound of a scream. "Oh no" he thought, "that has to be Ranma's fault.  
  
"Ranma Saotome prepare to die." Ryoga started charging off in the direction of the scream.  
  
When Ryoga promptly arrived on the scene he was alarmed to see Ranma glomped on Shampoo. "Ranma what are you doing with my women?"  
  
Ranma jumped up at the sound of Ryoga's voice and cowered in fear. "R. . . Ryoga what are you doing here?"  
  
"Ranma get away from my women."  
  
Shampoo got up and ran to Ryoga's side "Oh Ryoga save me."  
  
Ryoga hugged Shampoo as Ranma snuck off in fear. "Don't worry Shampoo I wouldn't ever let anyone hurt you my love."  
  
Shampoo looked up at Ryoga from within the circle of his arms and giggled. "Oh you big strong man you. Tee-hee-hee." 


	2. Chapter 2

# # # # # @----- ----@ # # # # #  
  
Scene #2  
  
  
  
Nabiki was sitting on the edge of her bed in the dark thinking. :: How could this happen . . . I can't believe it. I . . . lost . . . . . how could I loose at Ping-Pong, and to that weird foreigner girl . . . . what was her name. . . oh yea, Breaked. ::  
  
Suddenly in the darkness she saw something move. It was nothing but a patch of darkness moving in the darker blackness but it put her on end. Living here in Nerima you could never be sure if it was nothing, or some kind of weirdo or freak. Standing up she began to edge for her door. Out of the darkness stepped the shadow of a person and it advanced toward Nabiki. Nabiki stopped frozen in place by terror. The person kept advancing toward her slowly and raised something above its head. Whatever it was it began to buzz ominously.  
  
:: Oh god why did this have to happen to me. I haven't had enough time to make money. I'm too rich to die. I have to make more money. :: Nabiki closed her eyes. Suddenly Nabiki heard the sound of her cell phone ringing. Opening her eyes she reached down and picked it up. "Can you excuse me while I take this call?"  
  
The shadow tilted its head to the side and then nodded "yes."  
  
"Moshi moshi, may I ask who is calling? Sasuke . . . no, no I can't give you another day on that dept . No, and I can't talk long, I'm kind of busy. Yea some weird serial killer is trying to kill me. No, if I survive I won't go out with you. Listen I gotta go. Yea bye" Turning back to the shadow she nodded to it, "Ok lets go, GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"  
  
Suddenly the phone rang again. "Hang on" Nabiki reached down and picked up the phone answering it on the third ring.  
  
Meanwhile the shadow started to look around, exasperated, while tapping its feet. "Yea, no, no, yea, listen I gotta go, bye, yea , no , bye. Alright" Nabiki took up a pose as the shadow advanced toward her once again raising the . . . whatever it was that was buzzing above its head. Just as the shadow stepped directly in front of Nabiki the lights flashed on.  
  
"Hey, Nabiki dinners ready." Turning at the suddenly light and the sound of a voice Nabiki saw Akane standing in the doorway. Turning back she saw . . . . . . (dun dun dun) Ranma who appeared to be holding a . . . . . ::It's not possible . . . is it . . . :: Ranma appeared to be holding an electric toothbrush over his head as though to attack Nabiki.  
  
"Ranma what are you doing with my toothbrush?" 


End file.
